In case you were wondering...

This just made me laugh.

Hello, Reality!

I feel like I've been on another planet for the past month or so. It feels like I've been isolated in a cave where I can do nothing but face myself, think about myself, sometimes hate myself, love myself, accept myself, and reject myself. It's been me, me, me for way too long. The past couple weeks have felt like a complete time warp. There have been amazing and terrible things all intertwined into this journey I'm on. Last week, one of my dear friends gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Last week I also witnessed the tragedy of what alcoholism and drug addiction bring a person to do, or in this case, not do. It also brought on a swarm of gossip about me from the workplace that I had to swallow. It's a hell of feeling to be confronted with the fact that in a meeting of twenty-ish people, not a single soul could stand up on my behalf.

Then fresh into this week I was terminated from my job over said gossip. At first a rash of anger, followed by sadness, more anger, a little spite, some smiting... I turned a corner yesterday as I started looking at my part, as I stopped to literally list on paper the things in my life I'm grateful for. A side note: toilet paper totally made the list. It's all about perspective.

There's a lot to process, and thank God I don't have to do it all today. I have this beautiful chance to sit back, reflect, and figure out what kind of direction I would like to head toward. I met with a dear mentor friend of mine this morning, and she gave me hope. She gave me permission to look at my gifts, the things I'm good at, and the things I love doing. I've been so wrapped up in the negativity and the hate. I've been wrapped up in the things people don't think I can do and in the ways I've already given up on myself. So to have a reprieve where I get to appreciate my brain, my talents, and just myself...I'll take it.

Breakfast Table.

I'm on the Winter Retreat. I'll do more explaining, Happy Holiday-wishing, catching up, etc later. Right now I need to capture and share the brilliance spoken at the breakfast table this morning.

Jess: "I don't like eggs."
Dan: "What?! You don't like eggs? That's like saying you don't like happiness."

Also according to Dan, not liking blueberries is also like not liking happiness.

I love happiness.