I Have A Confession...

I have had this blanket essentially since birth. I say "essentially" because in Preschool the knucklehead custodian decided to wash my blanket, and it was destroyed, so my mom gave me my sister's identical blanket as a replacement. Lindsey had no problem with this until later years when she decided she had been shafted and demanded another blanket. Regardless, this beautiful, delicate, piece of fabric has been around and VERY LOVED for 25 years.

This past Thanksgiving, I was with my friend Jaime's family, and my blanket was exposed because apparently it's filthy & not all 26-year-olds take their childhood blankets where ever they go. Turns out, I'm just that unique. I don't HAVE to have it with me. I'm not that psychologically damaged. I would just be crushed if I left it at home and something happened to it.

Thanksgiving brought up the possibility of/need to wash it. It's taken me a few weeks to swallow that fact since my first blanket was so tragically lost in a washing accident. However, tonight I finally mustered the courage to give it a bath. And I was incredibly shocked at how nasty it was. Suffice it to say, I'm slightly embarrassed.

Of course I documented this momentous occasion because as I was prepping to wash it I realized it had been probably 10 years since it had been bathed. I know, slightly hazardous to my health, but now it's all clean!

The first bowl of water (brought to you by the makers of Ajax Antibacterial Dish Soap in Orange):
The dirt left in the bottom after the first wash:
After 4 bowls of soapy water and a few rinses, we have a cleaner blanket!
So I realize this thing hardly resembles a blanket, but humor me people. It's MY BLANKIE. And... it's almost an heirloom. Also, I can now see the original stripes of pink, blue, and yellow, but I'm afraid it will never be fuzzy & white with a delicate satin trim again.

Really?

This is what's wrong with the world, and I am so not referring to Global Warming.


see more pwn and owned pictures

Text reads:
"I was watching inconvenient truth the other day and theres the bit where it shows the sea level rising really high and flooding most of the world. Well i live near the sea, and don’t want to drown, so i got to thinking. Maybe if we lower the sea level a bit, when the water level rises then it won’t rise high enough to flood.

Anyway, heres the plan. Everyone who can should take a bucket of sea water and pour it down the sink. If lots of people put the effort in, we could lower the sea level substantially and create a better world for our children to live."

There are NO words. None.

Baby, It's Cold Outside.

It's officially getting "cold", and I couldn't be happier. I love Winter. I love Fall & Winter & Spring. I grew a greater appreciation for fun Summer activities this year, but I definitely don't like being hot and sweaty.

Honestly, I have nothing interesting to write about. I don't have any funny stories or anecdotes to share. I'm going on 4 weeks of dealing with the cold from hell & various side effects it & medicine to treat it have brought. For that reason, life has been boring because I haven't done much.

This is almost so boring that I'm tempted to not hit the "publish post" button. I'm almost too bored to continue typing it. BUT... I like torturing people, so I'm going to hit the "publish post" button now so all you blog stalkers don't have to continue reading the yucky poo story.

Saturday.

Kansas City woke up this morning to a beautiful Fall fog. LOVE IT! It was amazing to see the brightly colored trees contrasting against the dreary fog, and I was seriously in heaven. My heaven has Fall fog.

I had a community event at church this morning, which was really the only reason I was out of bed in time to see the fog. Anyway, I got home from church ready for a nap because this cold has zapped every ounce of energy I have. I decided a nap in my dad's bed would be the best choice because his bed is SUPER comfortable, Dad was gone fishing, and my room was full of sunlight. Now, the rest of the blog post is gross. It's not intentionally gross, it just is. There's your warning, moving on...

I was in my getting to take a nap routine, which involves emptying my bladder, so I went into Dad's bathroom to pee. I noticed there was a number 2 surprise just hanging out in the toilet bowl (I wish this was as gross as the story got, believe you me!), so I did a flush and run and went to another bathroom. Pretty instantly I heard something I knew was not a good noise. Dad's number 2 toilet water was overflowing. Freaking sick. I kind of just stood and watched in amazement because seriously it was gross & remember Dad was out fishing.

I will be honest and tell you I was totally tempted to let it wait for Dad. It was his mess after all. I just happened to flush it FOR HIM. Anyway, I ran downstairs to grab my phone to tell Dad he was going to have to clean up when he got home, when I heard water dripping from the CEILING in the bathroom downstairs (conveniently located directly under Dad's bathroom). At this point I knew I couldn't just leave it, so I ran out to the garage and grabbed the shop vac. I lugged it upstairs where I was greeted with the worst smell known to man. I had a huge dilemma because I've been SUPER NAUSEATED all week, what with the loss of equilibrium and balance from the sinus/ear infection, and today was the first day I didn't wake up ready to vomit. So I searched for a mask of any kind to guard from the smell, but all I could find was a towel to tie around my face. I spent the next hour of my beautiful Saturday vacuuming up poo water, disinfecting walls & toilets, and opening every window in the house to air out this sucker.

I'm grateful it's a perfect day to have windows open. I'm also grateful my brother returned the shop vac when he borrowed it. Lastly, I hope Dad had a great time fishing.

P.S. I wish I could take credit for this lovely Fall photo, but I stole it from http://www.wunderground.com .

Ridiculous!

So the last couple of days, I've felt like an absolute space cadet. I've had like a 10-second delay on most reactions, and I've been feeling like my head has been floating 10 feet above my body. Weird weird weird. Last night I was lying in bed, and my left ear decided to FREAK OUT. It was killing me. Being too lazy to actually get out of bed and do anything (and not really knowing what to do considering I already had Tylenol in me), I just eventually fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with a nice ooze seeping from my ear. I know, sick. Anyway, I made an appointment with the Dr. Turns out this space cadet feeling/ear seepage is all a big nasty double ear & sinus infection. I'm relieved because for a second I was scared I was getting stupid, and there is no cure for stupidity. There is, however, a cure for sinusitis, & I'll go ahead and give a shout out to the Z-Pack chilling on my bathroom counter for the glorious healing it's about to do in my cranial-facial region.

Rest.

I've forgotten how to rest. Before my summer internship I started this nasty habit of overbooking myself, and once the internship started, I vowed to not do it again. Turns out, I'm now worse. I've worked at least 60 hour weeks for the last 2 months, and I'm reaching a point of exhaustion. I've thrown promises left and right to the people around me that love me about how I'm going to stop doing this and start doing that and change this and add that, but nothing has changed. Nothing has changed, and if nothing changes, well then nothing changes.

Unfortunately I still can't promise that anything will change right away. I wish I could write a simple promise about how I'm going to "fix" this overworking problem of mine, but I don't know where to start. I'm scared to start because I know changing my schedule means missing out on things I am actually too exhausted to enjoy -- but I don't want to miss them anyway. I never want to miss anything, which is part of the reason I find myself completely free without a clue what to do with myself. I had every intention of enjoying my down time, but it's a struggle to just find rest.

My head is filled with all the things and people and places my work schedule hasn't included, and I'm at a loss for how empty my life feels tonight. And because my family reads my blog, just know I'm fine. I'm just thinking out loud.

The tides are definitely changing because my body will shut down if I keep going like this. I just need to find that place to start.

Guacamole!

My name is Rachel, and I'm a guacaholic. I've been on a guacamole spree lately, and I really can't get enough of it. It's almost an obsession. Right now Mi Ranchito has the first place trophy for best guac (and also the best price per amount). It's SO good! I've had guacamole 6 days in a row now, and I can't stop. I've never been this obsessed with any food. I hope this is the food I crave in 89 years when I'm pregnant. Actually, I'd be afraid I'd end up giving birth to an avocado. I hope I don't turn green.

In conclusion, I'm always accepting donations that will feed my ever growing guacamole habit.

Grammar Lesson

I hate to do this. Actually, I'm happy to do this. I get so irritated by horrible grammar. Like if you're out of high school, you should have decent grammar. If you're out of high school & have terrible grammar -- SHAME ON YOU! Educate yourself by remembering these simple rules...

The difference between you're and your is as follows:
"You're" - Contraction for You are. "You're an idiot."
"Your" - Describing the possessor as someone else (you). "Your grammar is atrocious."

"Irregardless" is NOT a word. Quit using it, unless you're quoting the movie, "Mean Girls." The correct word is "regardless." This one is EASY. Next time you say "irregardless" follow it with a simple, "Oh I'm sorry I'm an effing moron and promoting the use of a word that doesn't exist."

All you apostrophe-happy people, click here.

From now on, my precious people, I WILL be correcting your grammar. You also have permission to correct mine. However, if you start attacking my blog grammar, you will be stopped. This is a BLOG, and I don't care about having PERFECT grammar HERE. If I do break my own rules (posted above) you can call me on it, but everything else is off limits -- until I feel another need to educate you on grammar.

That is all.

Carry on.

Seriously? Seriously.

Are you effing kidding me?
I like Fall, like the leaves and sun, & 50 degrees. Not this rainy schtuff.

Twenty-Six.

26
= 2 x 13
= 5 + 6 + 7 + 8

There are 26 letters in the English alphabet.

Precipitevolissimevolmente with 26 letters is the longest word in the Italian language. It means `as fast as possible'.

December 26 is Boxing Day (except when December 26 is a Sunday).
(info courtesy of http://www.richardphillips.org.uk/number/Num26.htm)

"God's Number" is the minimum number of moves needed to solve any disordered Rubik's cube. It is so named because God would only need the smallest number of moves to solve a cube! The research has proved that God's number is 26. Nevertheless, theoretical work suggests that God's Number could be in the 'low 20s'.


26 has also a special divine significance in Gematria because it is the sum of the letter-values of the 'Tetragrammaton', the Hebrew biblical name of God ( יהוה Yahweh): Yod + Heh + Wau + Heh = 10 + 5 + 6 + 5 = 26
The diagram above shows the 'Tetragrammaton' written in Phoenician (blue script), Aramaic (red script) and modern Hebrew (black script).
(info courtesy of http://www.archimedes-lab.org/numbers/Num24_69.html)

I'm trying to convince myself that I like being 26.

Fabulous.

I'm 4 today. It's been four years since I retired from my occupation as a booze whore. If only it went down as pretty and smoothly as it sounded. Pretty much I'm in awe of where I've come from & how much I've changed (mostly for the better). And yeah. It's been one hell of a ride.

Moving on to why I freaking love kids. I have this giant fear of turning into one of those co-dependent for life preschool teachers. I just happen to love kids. I am however not that co-dependent. Good news. So I got to watch John today, who by the way is and always has been one of my faves. He's dang cute for beginners, and he's sassy. I love sassy kids. Anyway, so I had just arrived at his house, and John (who is 2) was facing the fact that his mom was leaving, which he was having mixed feelings about. In a 2 year old this presents as a bad case of the "no!"'s. So his mom & I took turns asking him what he wanted... it went like this:

Missy (John's Mom): "John, will you eat a good lunch for Miss Rachel?"
John: "NO!"
Missy: "Do you want to show Miss Rachel your Sit-N-Spin?"
John: "NO!"
Missy: "Do you want to go play in the street?"
John: "NO!"
Me: "Do you want to go play in traffic on the highway?"
John: (pauses & looks at me) "Yeah."

I love it. Please note there was no playing in traffic. Maybe next time.

It just may be a conspiracy.

Dear Twin,

For 25.95 years we have been called "twins." I'm starting to wonder if you really did come from the milkman. Or maybe you and Mom were abducted by aliens from the planet, Blonde. I have assembled some photographic evidence to support my theory. Please enjoy how much we don't resemble each other.

Love,
Baby A (which does NOT stand for "asshole")

Sweet Mother!

It's been officially 9 days since my internship ended, and I have yet to feel productive. I never EVER thought I'd miss living in a house with 8 other females, but I actually do. I never thought I'd miss getting up every day at 8am, having had little sleep -- but I do. It's weird and crazy how much I LOVE structure & routine, and then how I become completely clueless as to what to do with myself when the routine changes or goes away for a while.

To fix this lack of routine, I'm going to New York with my Mom, Larry, & Kimi! SO EXCITED! Quick aside: I was doing some shopping because I needed non-flip flop shoes to wear considering my ankle is still weak & I will be doing lots of walking. I decided to go to Marshall's because I like how they have their shoes laid out, and I thought it was better than TJMaxx. Turns out Marshall's is crap, except I did get 2 pairs of shoes & a shirt. I went to TJMaxx across the street, and I felt like I hit the mothership. I almost convinced myself I needed a pink leopard print Betseyville (Betsey Johnson) rolling travel bag thing, but then decided I would look like an old lady pulling it around. Moral of the story: TJMaxx freaking wins! Now if only we could get a Nordstrom Rack...

Earlier today I babysat for one of my favorite families of all time, the Stewarts. They have 2 kids, Zach & Lia Joy. Lia is a little spitfire & hilarious. Zach has an awesome brain & is so content with everything. Well, Lia & I were having a photo shoot while she was painting with her watercolors in the kitchen, when Lia decided she wanted to take a picture of me. Here's the hilarity that transpired:
Lia: "Now make a silly face, Rachel."
Me: (sticking out my tongue & making what I think is my BEST silly face)
Lia: "NO RACHEL! That's an angry face!"
Apparently, I need to work on my silly face.

Welcome to my learning curve.

For some reason I've spent a lot of time in the last few weeks reflecting on things I've learned. Most of these things have to do with me because I occupy my mind 99% of the time. Anyway, I've decided to share these little moments because to keep them to myself would be a damn shame.

• I only like Cheetos in small doses.


• Crunchy peanut butter is sick, but I will have a love affair with a jar of creamy peanut butter.


• Soy milk will never replace cow milk.


• I'm definitely more introverted than extroverted.


• My handwriting is ridiculously neat & legible, which I have discovered is less common than I thought.


• I will make any normal moment completely awkward at the drop of a hat.


• People watching is definitely one of my favorite hobbies, and I'm also not very smooth when I'm in my people watching mode.


• I'm still waiting for someone patient and brilliant to teach me Photoshop.


• Toes are freaking weird.


• I'm definitely more resilient than I ever thought I was. I will get back up, even if it takes a while.


• I have a really high tolerance for pain.


• There are some mornings where I wake up completely irritated that I have to actually shower and get ready.


• I'm really bad at calling people back, and I have a bunch of saved messages in my voicemail awaiting callbacks.


• I want to own a pastry shop some day.


• Black coffee is amazing on dreary mornings when my voice is raspy.


• Music never ceases to help me figure out my life.


• I'm not a bad artist like I thought.


• Learning to be obedient is kind of fun.


• I have no idea how to relate to boring people.


• I have really cool dreams, and I look forward to them most nights.

Should.

I came across a friend's blog today, and she had this posted.
.

So, I did a little research for myself, and turns out -- the results are the same -- the numbers just look different. My search came up with 9617 "should" and 1099 "shouldn't".

That's a lot of regret.

Today, I have none. I finished my internship.

The Homestretch!

10 days left! The countdown has indeed begun for the end of this internship, and I find myself sitting on a bag of mixed emotions. I'm really thinking I'm going to need a few days/weeks to process this summer after I step away from the environment. I've learned a lot about myself (and others) the last 10.5 weeks, and I just pray for further self-discovery & enlightenment -- which sounds cheesy, but is true.

I'm taking a quiet night at Dad's house tonight, as he's out of town and there is a Heath Ledger movie fest going on at the house. I have loved and hated sharing a house with 5 (sometimes 8) other girls. It's been such a freaking social experiment if nothing. We all have come from such diverse backgrounds, and we all have stories. That's what I'm discovering, we all have stories to tell. I've also discovered that I can't discount or amplify someone else's story in comparison to my own.

I will miss the laughs, the madness, not getting enough sleep & being delirious, art nights, late night talks with Karlie, Christine, and/or Jake Ryan, and a lot of other things. I'll miss the constant companionship. At the beginning of the Summer all I could think about was how much I missed my apartment and my solitude, but now I don't want to be that isolated and alone. I've just learned so much, and I'll miss those middle schoolers. I never thought I'd have a heart for awkward, sassy older kids with hormones, but turns out I love those littles. We had an AMAZING night Wednesday as our closing Revo (which has been our weekly community night). We went to Franklin Park and had a Muckfest, which is an organized food fight. After being covered in a slew of things that should never be mixed together (Cheerios, chocolate syrup, nacho cheese, pork & beans, anyone?), the Fire Department so graciously came and hosed us off for a good 45 minutes. It was this beautiful moment that made every tear & ounce of sweat completely worth it. It made frustration disappear to see the middle schoolers we finally know just dance around in the water. And there was water EVERYWHERE. It was so much fun, and I can only hope to ever experience such a sweet moment again.

And for all of you wondering... my gimp foot is healing. After a series of appointments at my family doctor, I decided to get a second opinion. Turns out what they thought was the fracture was really an old injury circa 1997. So, I just have a really bad sprain, and the boot I've been wearing has been overkill. I graduated to this new brace on Wednesday, and though I can finally wear 2 shoes again, I've not really enjoyed my new freedom. My foot has been all sorts of swollen & sore since I ditched the boot. One might accuse me of overdoing it, but that one can go to dark fiery places for all I care. I really haven't been too hard on my foot, albeit out-running kids aching to throw food on me at Muckfest may have been a little much.

I think I might have to make another post of shout-out-worthy quotes from the Summer later.

Stretch Armstrong

I'm going to go ahead and double post because it's my blog & I can do what I want.

I feel like God is stretching me beyond all the limits I have made for myself in the last 25 years. This internship (LTP) has been an AMAZING experience not just in maturing my relationship with Christ, but maturing my relationship with myself. I'm a little over half-way done with this gig, and I'm just caught in a moment of realizing I really had no idea what I signed up for. It's a good thing, really good, but I'm so blown away by what has already happened in me, that I really am excited for the next half.

I'm starting to get to know the kids at the church, and we're having a blast. We had Summer Bible Camp (SBC), and it was such a treat. It's Heartland's version of vacation bible school, and this year they had a team from SportsLife Camps bring camp in. The team that visited was an amazing group based out of Chicago. We had the pleasure of hosting them in the intern house, bringing the total number of girls sharing space to TEN, and we had so much fun together. We grew so close in 5 days, and we were so sad to see them go. There is a group of us planning a trip to Chicago to visit them right after LTP is over. Here's a group picture after the last day of camp on Thursday, with Dan as Captain X-CITO:
I'm just going to finish this post with a few pictures:
First is Tiffany, Elizabeth, & me... we share a room.

Then we have a group of the girl interns minus the HS girls & Allison:

Finally, the two goofs who keep us ALL laughing, Karlie & Jen (who was actually imitating Karlie in this picture):

Effing Sweet.

Not so much. I broke my freaking ankle/leg on Thursday, and it's SO annoying. I can't even emphasize enough how much I HATE being disabled. I am currently unable to drive since my right leg is the one that's all gimped out, so I'm learning to ask for rides. I don't do forced humility well, or humility PERIOD for that matter. It's something I strive for, something I want more of, but something I hate getting. I realize that probably makes no sense, it's just that my pride tank is overflowing, and it doesn't really like to be emptied. I would be fine being able to cart myself around when I want, how I want, and where I want, without worrying about listening to bad music, not being able to freely adjust the temperature, or seeing my life flash before my eyes as the result of bad driving -- and then being grateful that someone actually wanted to cart me around.

So I go to back to the Dr. in 2 weeks to find out 1. if I'm having surgery and 2. how long I'll be hobbling around. I think the most annoying part is that my arms are more sore than my ankle was yesterday... today my ankle is sore because I decided going to the mall without crutches would be a good idea. Not so much. It made sense to me at the time -- like I woke up with sore arms, and a leg that was tolerable with weight. That changed as soon as we hit the mall, and by the time I got home, I was swollen, sore, and mad at myself. Lesson learned. Crutches are now going everywhere, and I'll appreciate the massive biceps later.

Random & Beautiful

The name of the game:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd's mosaic maker).

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?: Rachel
2. What is your favorite food?: Chris' Vegan Cooking
3. What high school did you go to?: Bountiful High
4. What is your favorite color?: Pink & Green
5. Who is your celebrity crush?: Roberty Downey Jr.
6. Favorite drink?: Water
7. Dream vacation?: Pamukkale, Turkey
8. Favorite dessert?: Blackberry Cobbler
9. What you want to be when you grow up?: a Believer
10. What do you love most in life?: pure love
11. One Word to describe you.: resilient
12. Your flickr name.: pretty_thing

1. Rachels, Rachels, everywhere, 2. Mmm... Domestic!, 3. 1994 BHS Marquee, 4. ready for the party......???, 5. little corner of my little retreat, 6. Prenent un Bany. Taking a Bath., 7. Pamukkale, Turkey, 8. Blackberry Cobbler, 9. Here we shall know deceit yet shall we keep it in our bosoms along with all our lost hearts........, 10. Goldsboro NC - Pure Love, 11. Resilient, 12. Henný

Complete FEAR!

I would like to throw out a quick THANK YOU JESUS for coffee & other assorted hot beverages. I'm not even kidding right now. I woke up, and you know how when you wake up & no one is either there or in this case awake, so you don't get to test your voice. (That was an intense grammatical mess, but you get my point, correct?) Well, this morning I was cleaning up/killing mobs of ants that had infiltrated the living room thanks to someone leaving a half empty smoothie NEXT to a window while everyone was still sleeping. Aside: I've slept like CRAP since I started this internship, so I was awake & cleaning at 6:30 am, which is just not right. End aside. So no one was up, and then someone did wake up & I started talking and realized I had this not-cute-at-all raspy voice. And the more I talked the worse it got. So I walked across the street to the church where we have internet & coffee. I brewed some Joe, and now I have a not-so-creepy-but-still-not-cute raspy voice. Woohoo! I think my life would be over & I would have to cry if I lost my voice.

Let's take a walk.

There has been so much beautiful change in my life, coupled with the awareness of my own inability to adapt to change without sucking completely.  The weeks of May 11 & May 18 were probably the longest weeks I've experienced in a long time.  M-Th I spent finishing up my last week of this semester with my kids at work.  It SUCKS how much I miss them.  I truly feel completely and utterly blessed to have been a part of lives of 19 toddlers.  The year went by so fast, and we all grew so much.

Anyway, Friday was moving day, and I was ill-prepared.  I remember looking around my apartment on Thursday night wondering how I was going to get it all done.  Oh, and I was sick.  I forgot to mention that.  My summer cold that I don't remember getting this EARLY hit Monday when I woke up.

Saturday I was planning on cleaning my apartment, but a nasty fever & cough & plague-ness prevented that.  Sunday, I reported for my first meeting as an LTP Intern.  Then the next Monday, I was really sick, but HAD to get my apartment cleaned since the moving was done & I had to be out by midnight.  And Tuesday-Sunday were all LTP days filled with awkward orientating & dealing with my own insecurities -- which by the way don't come out in a nice way.  I'm a beast of pride when I'm insecure & it's ridiculous.

Now onto lessons learned:

• I will NEVER pay to have a moving company pack for me again.  I am overwhelmed by the fact that I have no idea where anything is because none of my boxes are labeled.
• When you throw me into a group with people I don't know, I will fluctuate between feeling inferior to and superior than everyone else.  It's a pretty volatile process.
• I have absolutely NO doubt that God absolutely wants me here this summer.
• I am a Lion/Beaver living with a bunch of Otters.
• The more I pursue Jesus, the more I cry.  There's a very strong correlation between how close to God & Jesus I feel and how much I freaking cry.  It's not cool at all.
• I'm grateful I'm not comfortable being an asshole to people anymore.

It's been a great journey.  I'm going to end with a picture of this awesome flower on a tree at Tan-Tar-A during the intern retreat.  It bloomed with me.

Sheesh.

It's about time for an update, eh?

In my own defense my laptop decided to poop out on me about a month ago, so I obviously had to get a new one -- which took its time in arriving.

It's been a super busy Spring, so far, and I'm just so excited for LTP (my internship at church) this summer.

I'm pretty much going to do a photo update because pictures are amazing, and well, they explain way better than words what I've been up to.

My last day of this school year is next week, and I'm really excited but totally sad at the same time. I have LOVED having my own classroom, and I have been blessed with amazing kids and parents. A few weeks ago I decided to go all out during art time, so I stripped the kids down to their diapers and let them body paint with fingerpaint. It was HILARIOUS! And yes, I took pictures:


I am going to miss the chaos, the cuteness, and the absolute joy that comes from watching my kids blossom from babies into real kids.

When I'm not at the school working, I've been babysitting a ton to bring in extra dough & to keep myself occupied. I should be busy packing, as I'm moving out of my beloved apartment in a week. I will so miss my big pink wall:
Living alone has been such an amazing experience. I've learned more than I ever imagined about managing money, paying bills, dealing with really loud thunderstorms at 3am solo, and myself in a year than I could have ever dreamed. It's been a true journey, but it's been worth it. I will move into a house my church owns for the internship, but I plan on living solo again after the internship because I already miss it.

And last, but not least... oh this so excited me. A couple of weeks ago I was sitting with the girls after a meeting when Krista walked in looking completely defeated. I questioned the sad face, and she said she couldn't find anyone to go to a concert with her. I asked which concert to which she replied Barry freaking Manilow. I spit I was so excited (true story, ask the girls who got sprayed). Krista's husband bought her 2 tickets for Barry as an early Mother's Day gift, on the premise that she had to find someone to go with her because he was NOT going. So, I totally said I would go, and we had a blast! Now, I know having a closet love affair with a man old enough to be your grandfather isn't the coolest of things, but I've been swooning ever since the concert. It was amazing and beautiful, and I got a t-shirt! Here's Krista & I pre-concert:
And though it doesn't seem so busy as I've typed this out, I feel like I've had a jet pack attached to my back since March 1. It's been so worth the exhaustion though.

Pondering.

I've been thinking about myself a lot... big surprise, eh? But not in incredibly selfish ways (if thinking of yourself can be described as such) -- more of, I've been thinking of the little things I enjoy. For instance, nothing passes the greatness that is napping on my couch on a lazy afternoon. Now, I don't have a very comfy couch... I think that's part of why I love it. It's uncomfortable because it's not long, and well I am. I love curling up with my fuzzy pink blanket and just crashing. I take great naps on my couch.

I also love taking baths. This joy, of course, is probably shared with lots of people. Right now I'm reading "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers, and I've read every page so far soaking in the tub. First of all if you haven't read this book, get it now. It's a tender story of a broken woman's journey to the Light and the Truth and the unwavering grace that covers us all. It has caught me more than once just thanking God for His grace, that I have in no way, shape, or form earned. It's mine regardless. His grace is ours -- if we choose to accept it, and cherish it, and honor it, and wear it. It's His gift to us. Amazing.

I really have nothing else to say, except His grace is enough.

"He is jealous for me..."

This song has changed me.

Happy Half-Birthday, Twin!

Today (March 10) officially marks the half-birthday of my birth... which I have to share with my twin since I'm such a nice person. 26 years ago, my mother was less than 3 months pregnant, so I kind of wonder if she was dealing with morning sickness still (if she even had it -- Mom, did you?) -- or if she even knew that she was about to see double. If she knew at this point that there were two of us, I can imagine the trauma was still very raw. Don't worry Mom, we can foot your therapy bills. Except remember the bliss of having us? Your two wonderful daughters who both share a completely wrong sense of humor, often times filling this need for "confession". Thank you for raising such honest & humble spirits.

If any of you are wondering, I got an email from 1-800-Flowers advertising 30 roses for $30. Call me if you would like my address. I'm half-kidding.

Anyway, Happy Half-Birthday today twin, and HAPPY FREAKING ANNIVERSARY tomorrow! And thank you for not getting married on our half-birthday... I would had to hurt you.

"I just ate enough chocolate to kill a small pony."

It's a true story.  I just went Nam on a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs (CME).  Seriously, I will probably never give up sugar or chocolate for Lent thanks to CME.  They only come out at Easter, though I hear from Sara that there was a special edition out for either Christmas or V-day.  However, I think I only want them around Easter.  I'm just going to throw out the warning now that there will be nothing intelligible in this post.

I have a ton of exciting stuff to update about.  Like as of May 18, I'll be an amazing intern at Heartland.  Yes kids, I got the internship.  I seriously feel completely honored and just blessed to have been selected.  Like God gently rolled the ball in my court, and not only did I notice, but I acted on it.  I remember hearing about LTP last year and thinking about what an amazing opportunity it would be, but I wasn't at a place in my faith journey to do it.  So I didn't.  Then this year it was mentioned, and again I did the "oh gee, that's a great opportunity."  Except this time I prayed about it, talked about it, and felt like I was supposed to at least apply for it.  Turns out I really am going to do it, and I can't wait for summer to get here.

And in closing, I'd like to share my favorite kid quote right now... really it's my favorite until another kid says something hilarious.  So I was babysitting Briggs (almost 2) & Zoe (5) a week or so ago.  Zoe's friend Audrey (6) was over, and they were playing ponies or something like that.  Well, there was one pony that was apparently more magical than the others, and the girls were arguing over it.  So I called them in, and I asked what the problem was.  It went something like this:

Zoe:  Audrey won't let me play with that pony.  She's not taking turns.

Audrey:  Zoe, you get to play with this pony all the time because it's yours.

Zoe:  No I don't!  I never play with it!

Audrey (completely dramatic):  Zoe, I have a life of working.  You have a life of playing.  You should let me play with the pony!

At which point I lost it & made a mental note that children are parrots who WILL repeat everything you say to them.

Mama Cooksey!

My beautiful mother is a ninja. Mama Cooksey broke her leg today while walking across a parking lot in Utah (heroic, I know... it runs in the genes). She had a compound fracture (meaning the bone went through the skin), and she freaking RESET her bones before the paramedics got there. She had surgery this evening, requiring a metal plate for stability, but it went well & she'll be out of the hospital on Friday. Since Mama Cooksey has proven her ninja status, I present 10 Facts About Mama Cooksey:

1. Mama Cooksey can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
2. If you spell Mama Cooksey in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
3. There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Mama Cooksey has breathed on.
4. Mama Cooksey sheds her skin twice a year.
5. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Mama Cooksey.
6. Most boots are made for walkin'. Mama Cooksey's boots ain't that merciful.
7. Mama Cooksey was what Willis was talkin' about.
8. Mama Cooksey can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
9. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Mama Cooksey a giant meteor.
10. Mama Cooksey uses a night light. Not because Mama Cooksey is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mama Cooksey.

Feel better Mom! Love you!

On Sugar Highs & Clumsiness

Today is SUCH a Monday. It's Valentine's Day Week at work which means we have parents bringing sugary treats for their toddlers ALL week. If today was a test run, this week is just going to blow. You know those super delicious, fluffy & soft iced sugar cookies you can get in packs of like 10 at the store? They contain about 987987 grams of sugar in each bite. Anyway, one of the parents brought these for the kids today, so we gave each kid half a cookie for snack. Can I just say that no child should have that much sugar & my childcare responsibilities should be revoked simply because I served the kids these cookies? Cindi & I paid for it hardcore all day. We literally had kids bouncing all over the room not paying the slightest attention to us yelling "Get off the table, Quinn!" or "Briggs, Brady is not a toy, please don't ride him." It was bad. Then our gym time came, and I decided it was time to run the shit out of them. We sprinted down the long hallway to the elevator, then continued our sprint to the gym. We then sprinted all around the gym & down the halls on the way back to our classroom. Despite the fact that Miss Rachel was not quite prepared for a run, they CRASHED during naptime -- which in fact was the only highlight of the day.

So during this glorious naptime I decided to switch out the toys in my room because I figure when I get sick of looking at the same toys the kids have been beyond that point for a while. I decided to dig this caterpillar tunnel thing out of the closet to put in our room. Granted, I think it will be a huge hit. However, it was in pieces & I was at work late putting the bastard together. So, when I was putting the last piece on I decided to give it a good wham with my hand to make sure the little freaking pegs went in the little freaking holes -- which I never thought would happen. Well, I failed to notice a peg sticking out and nailed my hand on it. It sent this like shockwave up my arm, & I just said "damn" and continued on. However, I would like to note that as the course of the evening has played out, my damn hand hurts bad. Like that little plastic bastard has done damage. Yes, I'll probably whine about it tomorrow too. And if you think I'm just being a weinie, here's a picture of what I put together:

I have one more clumsy story to share. This one made me laugh. I was in my kitchen raiding my graham cracker stash for a snack, when I freaking slipped on this clear 1/4 cup measuring cup that was upside down on my kitchen floor. I fell straight on my ass and just laughed. I also laughed when I damn near slid into my sliding glass door 15 minutes ago because I slipped on my work folder. Apparently, I'm not supposed to be upright today.

I LOVE these girls!

These are "the girls" minus Mary Ann and Aubrey. Just a second... Mary Ann, dear. This was your night, your celebration, thus the reason for our gathering. And you're not in the damn picture. Seriously!?

Moving on. My life would not be as beautiful, funny, amazing, tender, and dramatic without these girls.

I couldn't say it any better myself, so I didn't.

Hello, blog world. I would like you to meet Lindsey, my fraternal twin sister. Isn't she adorable? Of course my closest friends all know the famous Lindsey (because she is totally unforgettable), but a lot of other people don't know her because we've lived in different states for so long. I just want to make everyone is aware of this incredible human that shared a womb with me for 9 months. It's pretty crazy to think our hot bodies were created at the same time right next to each other. Actually, it was only 8 months because we were born 4 weeks early. Probably because we were fighting (which is just our way of expressing love for all you outsiders) and couldn't stand being near each other any longer.

Like I said, we are fraternal. Duh. We came from two different eggs...but we have many things in common like parents, a birthday, an inappropriate sense of humor, a loud laugh, addiction to diet coke, weekly gossip via cell phone in the car, an 80 wpm typing speed, nail biting habit, love of puppies and number of suspensions in high school. Just kidding on the last one! I hope I made my friends laugh.


About sharing a birthday...I love it. The reason I love sharing a birthday so much is that I LOVE my birthday because I'm very narcissistic. And I would love to shout to the whole world "ME ME ME ITS MY BIRTHDAY" but I'm sure most people would ignore me. So Lindsey and I just freak out about our birthday with each other. It's quite fun. I would compare it to watching a super funny movie. It's just not the same unless you have another person to help you laugh.


Oh my gosh how adorable are we!? This was taken with our friends Kim and Alia in Kindergarten. Check out my sister's scowl! Here is evidence that she started being critical and judgemental at a very early age. (Hey! She said it!)


And here is the brave woman who raised us! Our adorable mom. We call her Mama Cooksey. Marshal made up the name after he heard that we call our dad Papa Cooksey. We always talk about mom behind her back by calling her Mama Cooksey. Mama Cooksey this and Mama Cooksey that...always a good story. Sometimes followed by a silent laugh (Lindsey and Rachel twin inside joke, sorry).


ON OUR BIRTHDAY! See those smiling faces? We were enjoying our very own inside jokes and cheerleading for each other.


On my twin's wedding day. Of course it wouldn't have been complete without me, Wombie!


Here we are at our OTHER sister's house. Her name is Melissa and she is awesome too! There is never a dull moment when the three of us unite. I will make a blog tribute to her sometime too...but Lindsey goes first since she actually blogs and Melissa doesn't.


I love you Lindsey! Thanks for being my sidekick, and thanks for writing such an awesome blog!

Boo. Hiss.

I'm in kind of a blah mood. I'd like to thank the rhinovirus or whatever booger has decided to invade my immune system. Can I just say that I felt for a while that my body was cooperating with me for once, and now.... now it's not. I have a LOT I could blog about -- could being the operative. You see, I'm a little slothful, and I'll quit blogging at precisely the second I feel like it -- regardless of whether or not I've blogged about everything I wanted to.

I'm going to start with last weekend. It was amazing. I've hated this week just because it meant last weekend was over, and I will probably continue to be resentful at the general flow of life until I decide to apply what I learned last weekend to my life today. That being said.... I went on a retreat sponsored by the women's ministry people at Heartland. The theme was the Jewish Roots of Christianity, and my mind will fail at this point to share the brilliant things I learned with you. Just know that if ever there is a question, tradition, obstacle, miracle, answer, etc ... it's Jesus. I've come to appreciate the hand of God at work in my life. I've grown to notice it. I use the word grown very delicately because it's been such an uphill climb for me to get to a point where I recognize my Creator's hands in my life. Yes, I do take credit for His work at times, but that is getting a lot better.

The biggest message from the retreat was the need for a weekly Sabbath time. I'm talking no cell phone, no boyfriend, no friends, no nothing. A time to spend with Jesus in communion, lost in God's word, and refreshing your spirit. A refilling of the tank of sorts. We had four hours of Sabbath on Saturday, and I don't think there are words to describe the calm and the peace and the serenity.... and the just knowing that I was right where I was supposed to be.

I am now challenged to find this time in my week. My first thought is Friday afternoons, as I babysit on Friday mornings. I'm pretty sure it will be Fridays from Noon-5p for now. I don't want to shoot for something too big because I know myself well enough to know I'll not do it, but I also want it to be a significant sacrifice of my time. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

Now onto why I didn't get my Sabbath time this week. I babysat overnight for 2 adorable kids Mon-Wed. They're great kids, and things went pretty smoothly. That is until I woke up at 5am on Wednesday morning sick as a damn dog. I don't think I have thrown up like that in a long time. Sorry for the details, but shit! I couldn't do anything, and I still had a 4 year old to get dressed & out the door in 30 minutes, get myself ready, then get the baby dressed, fed, & out the door. I scrapped my plan of getting everyone ready on time as soon as I realized that I wasn't going to get far if my vomiting didn't subside. I called the parents who got a hold of the grandparents for back-up. Long story short, we all survived, but I have so much more respect for you parents out there. Seriously, I've never had to get children ready while I've not been feeling well, yet alone having to run to the bathroom to vom every 3 minutes. You get a standing slow-clap for that dedication right there!

I went home on Wednesday morning, pretty much slept for 2 days, woke up Friday feeling better, and today I'm still better, but not perfect. I have no idea what has invaded my body. It seems to be switching days as far as symptoms are concerned. Like one day I'm all stuffy & congested (yesterday) and the next I'm nauseous & my stomach hurts (today). Enough whining, right?

In very exciting happy news, there has been an addition made to the family tree! My beautiful cousin April gave birth to the perfect Emersyn May on Thursday! Congrats to April, Ben, Lunden, Brennen, Carsen, & Logan! And here's a picture of Emersyn:

And that about wraps up my week. Really, I thought it would be much more exciting, but I'm now announcing it wasn't (minus the birth of Emersyn!).

Puppies!

I dedicate this post to my twin for harassing me to post puppy pictures. My mom has the cutest dogs ever. Here are their pictures... well mostly Ripley and Tyti (pronounced "Tootie" because my parents lack phonetic skills) because Boo doesn't sit still long enough to get a take a picture.

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough!

The title of this blog has nothing to do with this post -- it's just stuck in my head for some strange reason. I haven't posted in a while. There's a lot to post. There will be pictures.


First of all... I had a blast in Utah. Really it was super relaxing, and I got to hang out with my Mom. It doesn't get any better than that. The above picture is of the Garage Majal, otherwise known as Mom & Larry's crib all lit up in it's Christmas light splendor. Highlights of the trip include watching Hairspray (the new one) a million times, getting a play-by-play of the Trolley Square shooting from Mom while we were AT Trolley Square, hitting up Fashion Place Mall for a little shopping at Nordstrom, and sneaking caramel apples. I had an awesome Christmas. Seriously, my parents are fabulous. I think my favorite gift would be my KitchenAid Stand Mixer. SERIOUSLY so excited to use it. I also got a ton of necessary kitchen gadgets that I needed as well. Mom, thank you!

So, I've been back since about 11p on New Year's Eve. I rang in the New Year by unpacking my suitcase. It really doesn't get better than that. My beloved Lydia is in town for her break, and we've been spending lots of time together because that's just how we roll. We have a new tradition that involves building a gingerbread house & decorating gingerbread people. I started off by trying to make a gingerbread version of Barack Obama. However, mid-decorating, I decided my gingerbread guy looked more like Enrique Iglasias, so he morphed into Enrique. Lyd made a super zombie. The house is amazing. And by amazing, I mean it almost leaves one speechless. My side is cute and organzied. Lydia's side looks amazing. And this time by amazing, I mean well amazing. I should really just shut up and start posting pictures!


This would be the finished house. It was kind of a crime scene.


Lyd & me being goofs. We have picture after picture like this.