Ridiculous!

So the last couple of days, I've felt like an absolute space cadet. I've had like a 10-second delay on most reactions, and I've been feeling like my head has been floating 10 feet above my body. Weird weird weird. Last night I was lying in bed, and my left ear decided to FREAK OUT. It was killing me. Being too lazy to actually get out of bed and do anything (and not really knowing what to do considering I already had Tylenol in me), I just eventually fell asleep. I woke up in the middle of the night with a nice ooze seeping from my ear. I know, sick. Anyway, I made an appointment with the Dr. Turns out this space cadet feeling/ear seepage is all a big nasty double ear & sinus infection. I'm relieved because for a second I was scared I was getting stupid, and there is no cure for stupidity. There is, however, a cure for sinusitis, & I'll go ahead and give a shout out to the Z-Pack chilling on my bathroom counter for the glorious healing it's about to do in my cranial-facial region.

Rest.

I've forgotten how to rest. Before my summer internship I started this nasty habit of overbooking myself, and once the internship started, I vowed to not do it again. Turns out, I'm now worse. I've worked at least 60 hour weeks for the last 2 months, and I'm reaching a point of exhaustion. I've thrown promises left and right to the people around me that love me about how I'm going to stop doing this and start doing that and change this and add that, but nothing has changed. Nothing has changed, and if nothing changes, well then nothing changes.

Unfortunately I still can't promise that anything will change right away. I wish I could write a simple promise about how I'm going to "fix" this overworking problem of mine, but I don't know where to start. I'm scared to start because I know changing my schedule means missing out on things I am actually too exhausted to enjoy -- but I don't want to miss them anyway. I never want to miss anything, which is part of the reason I find myself completely free without a clue what to do with myself. I had every intention of enjoying my down time, but it's a struggle to just find rest.

My head is filled with all the things and people and places my work schedule hasn't included, and I'm at a loss for how empty my life feels tonight. And because my family reads my blog, just know I'm fine. I'm just thinking out loud.

The tides are definitely changing because my body will shut down if I keep going like this. I just need to find that place to start.

Guacamole!

My name is Rachel, and I'm a guacaholic. I've been on a guacamole spree lately, and I really can't get enough of it. It's almost an obsession. Right now Mi Ranchito has the first place trophy for best guac (and also the best price per amount). It's SO good! I've had guacamole 6 days in a row now, and I can't stop. I've never been this obsessed with any food. I hope this is the food I crave in 89 years when I'm pregnant. Actually, I'd be afraid I'd end up giving birth to an avocado. I hope I don't turn green.

In conclusion, I'm always accepting donations that will feed my ever growing guacamole habit.